Peter on Jury Duty

By: Sam Khan

[Verse 1: Peter Griffin]

5 a.m on a Thursday, why am I up so early? 

My names Peter, and I gotta drive up to Quahog Court for Jury Duty

To serve for a case that I know nothing about, and don’t know anybody

No Breakfast, and I’m mad because Lois showed me my summons late

Meg’s irrelevant self asked what a summon is? 

It’s a letter that means I gotta attend court to be on a jury, for some case I don’t care about! 

[Hook] 

JURY DUTY…. [x3]

[Verse 2: Peter Griffin] 

Because I’m older than eighteen, I have to serve since I’m eligible, real damn shame

I just got to the court, and I haven’t seen the criminal yet, but they asked me if I have reasons to oppose jury duty

I said I’m mentally ill, but they didn’t believe me because I’m not mentally diagnosed

I tried to say I don’t speak English, Hola Yo Soy Peter, they said “But you were speaking English before” damn that’s it  I qualify for jury duty… 

They asked me if I knew the difference between a grand jury and a petit jury?

I tried to lie, but damn a grand jury is responsible for investigating crimes and a petit jury is an old fashioned jury that just listens in on lawsuits 

[Hook]

OH MAN I DON’T WANNA DO YOU.. I MEANT JURY DUTY

[Verse 3: Peter Griffin] 

They proceeded to ask me if I knew the difference between a civil and criminal case

I tried to lie again, but damn they saw right through me as if I was a glass window

I said a civil case has a plaintiff and a defendant it is a lawsuit that usually deals with contracts generally speaking it is negligent acts that result in something gone wrong 

 Civil cases can occur by way of action or application.

A criminal case is brought by federal government in response to violation of the law and seeks a fine, a jail sentence or both, seems crappy. 

[Chorus]

OH OH

JURY DUTY

OH OH 

[Verse 4: Peter Griffin] 

OH I KNOW THE CRIMINAL

IT’S THAT DAMN CHICKEN! 

We’re about the same age so that must be why I was called to serve for him

Since the amendments say we have the right to be judged by our peers, but since I know him I can’t serve

I’ll serve soon since its something I have to do as an American Citizen

LOIS! I’M HUNGRY GET ME A BEER, I’M ON MY WAY HOME