New York City doesn’t come with a rulebook—but it should. Whether you're fresh off the plane or just trying to blend in, consider this your unofficial survival guide. These aren't just tips; they’re the unspoken laws that separate the locals from the lost. Follow them, and you just might make it. Ignore them, and, well… good luck out there.

Subway & Transit Etiquette

1. Let people off before you get on. This isn’t an attack on your personal commute—it’s just physics.

2. The pole is for hands, not for leaning your entire body.

3. The MTA will lie to you. If it says the train is coming in 2 minutes, it could mean 10. If it says 10 minutes, it could mean never.

4. If you see a rat, just let it live its life. It’s probably on its way to work, too.

5. The express train will skip your stop when you need it most. This is a rite of passage.

Sidewalk & Street Survival

1. Stopping in the middle of the sidewalk is a crime. If you must pause, step to the side and reflect on your mistakes.

2. If someone yells “Heads up!”—duck first, ask questions later. You’re either about to get hit by a football or a rogue pigeon.

3. There is a scientifically perfect way to hail a cab. Look confident. Stick your arm out. Pray.

4. If you hear a loud “HEY YO”—someone just saw a celebrity, dropped their bodega sandwich, or is about to fight. All equally important.

5. Sidewalk puddles are not just water. They are mysteries best left unsolved.

Eating Like a New Yorker

1. Dollar slices are still good, but $1.50 slices are better. Inflation is real.

2. You will develop a favorite bodega, and it will be a deeply personal relationship. Nobody can tell you otherwise.

3. If you eat on the go, you’re officially a New Yorker. Bagels, pizza, halal cart—you will eventually master the art of walking and eating.

4. If a bodega cat is sleeping on the counter, you wait. That cat owns the store.

5. Bagels are meant to be toasted with cream cheese. If you order yours dry, rethink your choices.

How to Blend In (or At Least Not Look Lost)

1. Do not make eye contact with costumed characters in Times Square, secondly do not take a picture of them or with them. That’s how they get you.

2. If you hear someone yelling about the end of the world, that’s just part of the city’s soundtrack. Carry on.

3. If someone gives you directions and says, “It’s just a few blocks,” prepare to walk a mile.

4. If your friend lives more than two subway transfers away, they don’t exist.

5. If someone says “We should get drinks,” there’s a 50% chance it’s never happening. It’s not personal—it’s just how we communicate.

Final NYC Survival Tips

1. If it’s 50 degrees in January, someone will be in shorts.

2. Nobody actually goes to the Statue of Liberty unless they have a visitor in town.

3. If someone starts breakdancing near you, move. You’re about to become part of the show.

4. You’re 63 times more likely to get bit by a human in New York than by a shark. Watch your surroundings.

5. The best coffee shop is never near your apartment.

6. You don’t live in New York. You survive it. And that’s what makes it home.